Randomness in Mind: Are you serious???

The internet is a wonderful place: convenient, educational, informative, entertaining, and somewhere to make a total fool of yourself. Browsing through Yahoo Answers reveals plenty of peple willing to risk appearing foolish. Are they serious? Ok, a lot of them aren't, but here are some of the funniest/weirdest questions that I have come across recently:

How do you become a witch and also how do you control your powers? Hey im trying to find out what it takes to become a witch and also tell me how do you control the powers that will come with it. Please explain your answer. (really?)
What are some tips on Making a strong mermaid spell? I want to make up a very strong mermaid spell. It is kind-of hard. That's why I need positive answers and positive help. All answers are acceptable but, negative answers. (and again, really??)
Will the rich and poor experience the same amount of happiness in Heaven? Will the rich and the poor experience the same amount of peace, joy, love and happiness when they all enter the Kingdom of Heaven? Also will both the rich and the poor have an equal amount of privilidges while they're in Heaven?
How would you go about fakeing a broken arm at hosp? well my friend has done it twice i am now wanting to know haw i do it. (make sure when you go to the hospital that they use the FAKE x-ray machine, that's how I do it.)
How do you tell your own shoe size at home? I want to buy shoes over the internet but not sure my exact size. Is there any way to use household items to measure my shoe size? (erm, may I suggest looking at a pair of shoes you already own??). However, an answer WAS provided: Most internet sites have a shoe size guide. All you have to do it put your foot up to the monitor and measure your foot. (Just be careful not to kick the monitor over when you do!)
Is it okay to make farting noises during an informal business meeting, to indicate your opinion of an idiot? You know, when the idiot makes an asinine proposal such as having the curbs in the parking lot painted a golden color to "spiff it up". Or, is this too disgusting and unprofessional? What about rolling your eyes and puffing spitwads at him through a straw? (I think that both options are totally fine if you want to take a VERY long vacation!)
SAINT PETER TOLD ME I WAS DESTINED TO RULE THE WORLD. WHAT SHOULD I DO FIRST?
Ozone.......? do you think if everyone in the world held their breath for 10 seconds it would help change the ozone????
Is it normal for chicken to smell odd after the best by date? Everytime I buy chicken and it has a best by date and I consume it a day or two later, it smells odd. I never got sick but why does it smell odd? (hmmm, dunno, maybe you can keep on sxperimenting with it; leave it longer and onger each time and see what happens.)
Walmart...? help.....? Where can I get a Wal-mart application? (erm, did you try AT Walmart???)